The Monsters Of Fishing got out later than usual this year for what we figured was our 7^th annual pilgrimage to extract small little fish through frozen river ice in the hopes of filling buckets with them.  We settled into a six and a half hour outgoing tide with fierce wind gusts buffeting the 20 odd shacks along the Catance River.  Not a line stirred. In fact, with every shack booked, we saw no one produce a smelt. There was a single 14 inch carp caught by a group a few doors down, but that was it. This is smelting. And we know it going in. If they are running, you can haul lines all night. When they are not, then it’s time to relax, break out the food, and start cooking.

This year’s menu started with a melted Velveeta with jarred salsa dumped in for chip dipping. Shrimp scampi followed, then, Italian sausages and rib eye steaks. Vegetables as usual were strictly forbidden. We agreed that onions and green peppers sautéed with meat are considered aromatics instead of vegetables here, and so are allowed.  The feast was paired with a lager that rang in at $2.99 a six pack and worked well with the delicate flavors.  One member enjoyed gin and tonics with the entrees. Beef jerky and Slim Jims rounded out the service.

This year I had a re-match with my cooler. We had a scuffle last year going up the steep ramp off the river at the end of the night and, review of a previous Smeltapolooza post will indicate that it kicked my butt. This year I trained hard in anticipation of the grudge match and it paid off. I dominated the cooler the whole way up the ramp without incident.  In fact, aside from Dean loosing his sunglasses down the race hole in the first three minutes, and someone who will remain nameless exploring the culinary possibilities of eating a live bloodworm and making Troy nearly loose lunch at the sight of that, the whole trip seemed to go pretty smoothly for the most part.

We did some rough number crunching to determine the price per pound we’ve paid for fresh smelts on average for the past seven trips and we figured it comes out to approximately $437 a pound. Now, smelts are $2.99 a pound at the local supermarkets all day long this time of year, we realize that. But, paying a slight premium to ensure absolute freshness in this case seems to make sense to all of us so, the tradition will continue. Next year we will move to another location and have set a goal to double this year’s catch… which will only take one fish but, it can only go up from there….  Cheers from the MOF.